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I am not sure when I declared it in the last couple of years, but I felt like we were in the middle of a Black Wrestling Renaissance. Everyone knows about WWE, but there are actually about 100 independent wrestling promotions filled with stars, who are putting on great shows on a local level. The definition of a Renaissance is a revival of or renewed interest in something…
Read moreBy Patricia Rogers | Posted Monday, May 16, 2022
Seeing yourself how other people see you
My sister and I have been joking about how in the last 3 years time has become a "mind fuck". Things that happened in 2019 feel like 3 weeks ago and things that happened last year feel like it was years ago. It is mind-blowing how much the world has changed in such a short time.
In my orbit, I have experienced a lot of loss. And because of how I am built, I try to just pick my head up, swim forward, and try not to look back. But I do have to take a second and accept that life has been fucking hard, and I have been doing all I can to get through.
This edition is dedicated to the loved ones I have lost since the pandemic started: my creative writing teacher Ms. Bremmer, my Grandmother, Cousin Sameemah, Natalia, Kenny, and my high school love Deshon. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of all of you and what you meant to my life. Your friends, family, students, and loved ones are forever in my thoughts and prayers.
If you are reading this I urge you to please let people know what they mean to you while you can. You never know when it will be the last time you hear from them.
I am normally a pretty nostalgic person, but I have to admit that the heartbreak of loss led me to want to go back in time when things in my life seemed perfect.
One of those safe spaces for me growing up besides wrestling was always Harry Potter. What made HP special to me growing up was being able to get lost in the wizarding world. Learn lessons about the hard choices in life between love and hate, good and evil, easy and right, and countless others.
So my sister and are in the middle of rereading the series, it would be her first time and my third or fourth. The big thing for me is the message of bravery and pushing through the hardships for the greater good. If you love watching the Harry Potter movies (I mean, come on, when is it not on TV) then I highly recommend reading the book series. JK Rowling can be problematic, but the magic she delivered with the books can be considered life-changing.
One of the most influential voices in our lives is the ones that are inside our heads. The one that speaks to us and determines how we see ourselves. I think that is why people loved Issa Rae's bathroom mirror raps where she would motivate herself to be the best person that she could be for herself.
I recently lost my high school love who since the day we met put me on a pedestal. He thought I was the prettiest, smartest, flyest, and the most amazing girl he ever knew. And I loved that at the time when we were both teenagers. We broke up 14 years ago and he never changed his view of me. I hadn't seen him since high school graduation but we kept in touch by a phone call a few times a year. And he still talked about the positive impact I had on his life, and how much he wished he’d had it all this time.
I have to admit, I took him and this light he saw me in for granted. I used to be annoyed that my ex was still trying to get with me or saw me as the 15-year-old girl he fell in love with. But now, that he is gone and I have dealt with so much emotion over the years, I would give anything to hear his voice tell me how perfect I am. Losing Deshon has been understandably heartbreaking but it did come with a lesson for me, to never take people for granted.
At his funeral, I was reunited with high school friends. Sucked that it takes a funeral to bring us back together but it was nice to see them. It was comforting to me when we all went back to the same dynamic of friendship, and we all had the same personalities even all these years later. We all claimed to make sure we kept in touch after the service, and well knew that probably wasn’t true. However, it was nice to come together in Deshon’s memory and it was just like it would have been back in high school.
“Sex sells” I have been hearing that since I was younger, and grew up through sex tape scandals, and the birth of OnlyFans. As a woman, there is this pressure to appeal to the male gaze for success. It is unfair and yet it is also a way that women have been able to feel empowered. I have been glad to see society start to change its views on sex work, strippers, and women being naked because they like being naked. But then there is that thin line of, how much is too sexy?
My tip for social media and brand marketing when it comes to sex appeal is to do what makes you feel comfortable. I personally use the motto that I dont post or engage in content that I would not be proud to show my Dad. But that is me. Obviously, there will be influencers who pose in lingerie for work and must have parents that are okay with it, which is why I say it depends on each individual’s comfort level.
Your followers appreciate and follow you for the authenticity of your account. If you do not feel comfortable being “sexy” it will not resonate. So when you do take that step just make sure it is something you want to do
4/20 this year, I went outside to Brooklyn for Battle Club Pro’s Women Crush Wednesday wrestling show. The all-female card featured some of indie wrestling’s darlings like Trish Adora and Willow Nightengale. The highlight for me however was being able to see Big Swole in another main even title match defending her Battle Club Pro championship. After the hard-hitting match against Trish, Swole cut a promo that nearly brought tears to my eyes. There have been many moments in the last couple of months that made me so incredibly happy to be a wrestling fan, and this was one of them.
Swole is a black woman in wrestling who has always been outspoken, and unapologetic about the experience of being a black female wrestler. Her well-known departure from All Elite Wrestling & falling out with owner Tony Khan allowed showed us just how hard it can be. Swole however has always held her head high and been a voice for those that need it in the industry.
Here is some of her groundbreaking promo:
“I’ll be champ forever
Can’t Nobody can come in here and take what I take
Can’t Nobody can come in here and do what I do
Can’t nobody come in here and wrestle how I wrestle
OKAY
Except for Trish Fucking Adora
You want to talk about a diamond in the rough?
You want to talk about a woman that’s paid her dues?
You want to talk about a woman that cares for this business?
That was just one
When it comes to winning and defending this
Here as ya’ll champion
I’m going to give the people that have no say
I’m going to give the people that have been loyalty
The ones that whose not trying to turn their back or change
We are icons
We are woman
We are idols to the younger generation, the children who are watching us
We will be the change because that is what battle club is all about
Please give it up to Trish Adora
I’m going to say this
Battle Club is one of the only places that actually believed in me
Joakim is one of the only promoters that flew me out and gave me the time and day
I owe so much to this man.
I owe my career to this man
If it wasn't for God putting me in his ear, I would not be here
So I thank Joakim,
I thank (Hard to hear)
I thank my all-mighty father
Ya’ll have a good night”
I am excited to see what Big Swole continues to teach and bring to all women in wrestling.
